Illustration by Max Fleishman via The Daily Dot
The New Yorker
Daily Shouts & Murmurs
• A Plague-Month Journal (with Jennifer Wright)
• New Old Wives’ Tales for New New Yorkers
• Alternate Endings to Classic Video Games
• It’s Time for Hillary Clinton to Gracefully Bow Out of Public Life, Along with All Other Women
• Some of the “Law & Order: SVU” Episodes I Watched During Yesterday’s Marathon
Mc Sweeney's
• I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible (with Jennifer Wright)
• Why I’m Leaving New York (And Why It Has Nothing To Do With The Grumongulon)
• List: Strange But True Laws From Across the United States
• You Have Been Loading the Dishwasher Incorrectly Your Entire Life
Decider
• Some Ideas For Guys Who Could Be On ‘The Bachelorette’ Next Season
Medium
(Selects)
• Dear Mr. Leto: Please Stop Visiting Our Children’s Hospital Dressed As The Joker
• ‘Entourage’ Episode Ideas From Someone Who Has Never Seen ‘Entourage.’
• Things I Have Shouted At Piers Morgan From The Window Of A Moving Cab
BuzzFeed
(Humor Editor; 2014 - 2015) (Selects)
• 13 "Fifty Shades Of Grey" Quotes That Need To Be In The Movie
• If Quotes From A Guy We Chained Up In Our Basement Were Motivational Posters
• Did Emma Watson Really Die 100 Years Ago Tonight?
• Here Are Some "Mortdecai" Valentines As Far As You Know
• Your Favorite Disney Men Look Even Hotter Splattered With Blood
• This Is What The Cast Of "Dinosaurs" Looks Like Now
ClickHole
(Staff Writer, Associate Editor; 2014 Launch - 2015) (Selects)
• Which Hungry, Hungry Hippo Are You?
• This Elderly Couple Died Two Days Apart, So Why Aren’t The Police Investigating It?
• This Video Seems Silly, But It Makes A Good Point
• Are We Setting Unrealistic Standards Of Beauty For Our Felons?
• 4 Famous Movie Lines That Were Improvised On Set
• Is ‘Captain America 2’ On Blu-Ray Yet?
• This Loyal Dog Refuses To Leave A Grave That Has Peanut Butter On It
The Onion News Network
(Contributor; 2012 - 2014) (Selects)
• Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories
• ‘The State Of The Union Is Strong,’ Says Man Responsible For Shielding Nation From Truth
• America's Roommates Launch 'One Vote Doesn't Matter' Campaign
SplitSider
• A Letter To My Unborn Intern
The Big Jewel
• Three Stars — Grill Is Incredibly Difficult To Assemble, Even Sober